Braving the Storm to Find Mercy

July 3, 2017

A dark and somber cloud-filled evening commanded by strong wind, rain and hail is what our retreatants had to navigate in order to get to retreat. The storm seemed to be born just as they would began to travel in our direction.

For some of them, that was nothing in comparison to the shame and anguish they felt inside. For others, they called me filled with fear as they huddled under bridges taking refuge from the hail. They wondered if they could make it. 

Could God make it? They wondered if this was a sign…should they turn around and go back. I spoke with each one reminding them of what God wanted to offer them and how He would provide everything they needed to get through this storm and others like it if they would simply trust Him. One by one, they appeared and we rejoiced with their safe arrivals.

God brought us souls from a similar age group and similar life stories.  Together, we discovered so much more than their abortion story. God lovingly touched each wounded heart, allowing the retreatants to re-discover their voice and share what no ears had heard before.  We watched as those who had been away from the Church for so long, began to mouth the prayers again in Mass and remember what a Church community could feel like as we worshiped together.

And then we rejoiced as it was time for worship again on Sunday, and my team found a group transformed. They radiated peace and joy, dressing up for Mass along with makeup and jewelry. They were all such beautiful women on the outside, now radiating from every pore an inner beauty that had been hiding behind closed doors for so long. We celebrated them as they walked towards us, and they laughed together enjoying the attention. I know for some they had not heard their own laughter for a long time.  

The storm they had driven through to get there, complete with hail and wind reminded us of the hailstones of anger and pain mixed with the turbulent winds of shame and regret they carried inside. All this had been left at His altar, giving room for His radiant beauty to show through… which was overflowing in every way possible.

And their message to you as they left ...

“I learned I can call my children by name and I am certain of where they are. I never had that before. What a peace this has given me.”

“I didn’t think I was in that much need, and I thought I was to live that way until my death, yet I leave completely transformed.”

“I will always yearn for my child in my arms, but now I am in peace. I have broken free from the painful cycle in which I was stuck for so many years.”

“God has told me I am a new woman now, and all things I can do in Him and with His strength. I carried so many burdens for so long and I found out today they were not even my burdens to carry. My family paid that price. But I am a new woman now and I refuse to carry those burdens any more.”

The storms have moved on now. His beautiful and merciful harvest has been received. All glory and praise be to the one and only Master of the Vineyard. 

--Submitted by Healing after Abortion Ministry Director Eileen Kuhlmann

If you are someone you know is suffering from a past abortion experience, there is hope and healing. We can help. Begin the journey to Christ's mercy today at www.racheldallas.org.

Tags: retreat