Was blind, but now I see
August 9, 2016
My first week as a sidewalk counseling intern was an awakening experience. I came to find out that not everyone is educated or aware that that Planned Parenthood where I counsel performs many abortions on a daily basis. My heart was torn to also learn that females who were looking to have the adequate resources to carry a healthy pregnancy were referred to Planned Parenthood from hospitals. Learning all of this, made me reflect on how I came to the decision to become an intern with the Catholic Pro Life Committee.
At the age of nineteen I made the regrettable decision to support a friend to have an abortion.
To find out she was pregnant meant we had to take into account what society would think of her. How would her parents react? Would they kick her out of the house? Would she be labeled as another Hispanic who got pregnant and ruined her life? Should she even have the baby even though she knew the father was not the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with?
Clearly, our thought process reflected what was convenient to her. We considered everything except what was most important, her child’s life.
On October of 2009 at ten weeks pregnant, the life living inside of her was terminated.
Pretending as if this never occurred in the years to come brought a lot of pain and tears.
Even though I wasn’t the one who physically aborted the child, it sure felt like it. Spiritually, I felt condemned and deserving of an eternity of separation from God. To explain the regret and pain I experienced comes short of what it really felt like.
It wasn’t until I was 23 that I started seeking forgiveness from God. At first I believed that what I had done was an unforgivable sin, but when I truly sought the Lord I understood what he had done for me.
I recognized that Christ came to the earth to be the living sacrifice for my sins, including encouraging my friend to have an abortion. The person I am in Christ today is not the person I was.
It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that God started telling me it was time to stop being ashamed of what I had done and to confront the pain to save lives. He placed me in situations where I had to build the courage to be open about my past and to help those who are considering or who might be influencing someone to have an abortion. One of those situations was the blessing to become an intern with the Catholic Pro-Life Committee.
The young naive nineteen year old who helped a friend kill her own child seems so distant but nevertheless it happened. I wish that someone would have stepped in to help my friend. I wish I would have known what I know today. I wish someone would have told us that there were wiser alternatives to abortion.
If I could go back in time I would make the younger me aware that life begins at conception just as God tells us. I would also tell myself that the regret would be haunting and the thought of the child would never escape my mind.
As much as I can’t do that, I choose to remember how and why I influenced a human being to kill another human. I choose to remember that mentality so that I can now enter the minds of those females who are considering abortion. I now want to influence them to choose otherwise.
A lot of times expectant mothers fearfully dread the reactions of others. They lack courage, wisdom, and knowledge. A lot of them become victims of their own choices. To end their child’s life brings depression, suicidal thoughts, and the never-ending memory of their baby.
In a lot of cases these females are in need of help from people who genuinely care and are willing to go through the pregnancy with them. Due to my past experience and knowing that I have the forgiveness of God it is my responsibility to do everything possible to save the lives of the unborn.
As children of God it is our mission to speak for those who cannot yet speak. I am grateful to be a part of the Catholic Pro-Life Committee. It is an honor and blessing to work with people who pray for the unborn, counsel individuals and put so much time and effort to not only save lives but to impact eternal souls as well.
Thank you to everyone who helps the Catholic Pro-Life Committee -- for being the people who I wish I had known when I was nineteen. Thank you for being the individuals who will continue to be thanked for years to come by the lives you saved and continue to save. May God continue to give you the strength to grow in His kingdom.
Submitted by Sidewalk Counseling Summer Intern
Learn more about our frontline ministry offering loving alternatives to abortion every day at www.prolifedallas.org/sidewalk.